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Business Writing? An example, - " Take Charge, & Go green! "

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发表于 2010-8-9 19:03 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 Independent 于 2010-8-9 20:07 编辑 5 [0 K  Q, {' v$ f' g! X1 T
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Business Writing? An example, - " Take Charge, & Go green! "

Interested in Business Writing? Following is an true Example from my business:

Link to the Letter

Personal Notes: trying express everything Not more than 150 words, * thats why TOFEL & IELTS ask so!

Writing a business letter is, always, not an easy job. Can not remember how many times this letter had been edited,

In business, a short letter may make clients list longer, so, almost like "building a sword", in the past time for a solider.

Today, people hates "Tele-marketing" the cost-saving tool has turned people down.

So old business method comes back,  "keep it short", use possible less, and shorter words as you can...

this reminds me of Don, and ...he said, "the keys of writing down any ideas are clear, short, true to the fact,

and concise as well."

Same as it is in a format of e-mail, try to give a few links that offers more info, references, and it's useful for your readers.

Same as in the Faxes. Lenthy sentences should be avoided.

Keeping the letter not more than 10 lines, or less than five paragraphes, and try to keep within 150-180 words?

People are now impatient, and  some of them do not read more than 2-3 minutes.

Luckily, in northern America, people don't really care about formailities, and "too good writings",

....rather, but prefer making good sence.

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When finish, give a second readinds, or read alaud to yourself, then choose "Action Verbs" to give a vivid and strong title!


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一语,

" Take Charge, & Go green! "

www.oeb.gov.on.ca

www.ieso.ca
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To business owners 8 Q6 h8 i. h: C8 ~. [. s

May 18, 2010


Hello,
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" r( G$ f# E5 @5 C8 Z. R/ O: X# CLet's look at your hydro bills. The May usage above 600Kwh / 1,000 kWh will be charged no longer @0.067 but @0.075 Kwh (+12%) at regular tiered price. Fees, services, delivery, retirement charges and provincial benefit are "global adjustment". ...factored, regulated every 6 months, and showing a big jump.
7 A4 o* N6 w" q+ v
. t3 v: Z( w$ r"Smart-Meter" prices went up, again, by
12%, effective May 01, Ontario. Businesses and homes will see increase on hydro bill by "Time of use"  rate @ 0.099 / kWh, at "Peak Hours", "Go Green" is one of your options, stabilizing cost, free from the increase. ) W' j1 ]6 j9 {9 c% i
*Ref. Official link
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The "Market price program" is Green, protective, the variable true cost for high volume users, indexed on www.ieso.ca Avg. 2010  is 0.0340 kWh. You may enjoy the true cost, or adjust your investment in green energy, budget and to build better future.
% U& Q3 b2 ?, o; A4 K* Ref. Official link* @2 k9 a! @- T. m! F+ b6 T/ P

* R9 \. [5 Y8 _' }Enjoy whole-sale fixed rate, fix the risk, if your actual energy consumption is over 200,000 / Kwh, & 54,000 M3 in a year. Let's talk!
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"Choose green, take charge! "
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Yours truly,
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Lei, John. Zhang 8 L: ^+ v! ]& J, S* r4 e
Independent Contractor (OEB. Licence) ! }, c) r& K  b/ n+ z6 X; Z) z
Electricity Retailer Licence No: ER-2005-0314
; `6 n; O4 H* Y! a2 G4 Y- aGas Marketer Licence No: GM-2005-0314
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Contractor No: 263453

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* St. Catharine, Hamilton, Burlington, Oakville, Mississauga, Toronto


905 802 5896 ( Cell ) 905 333 8359 ( Fax ) ) d; Y  o9 r. J9 s2 h
E-mail: john.application.2009@gmail.com

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More readings:
"Electricity prices head upwards "

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Back to Electricity prices head upwards

ABS Energy Service Ontario. 业务短信:647 880 1319
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发表于 2010-8-9 19:34 | 显示全部楼层
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 楼主| 发表于 2010-8-9 19:38 | 显示全部楼层

Hope more readers find it usefull!

本帖最后由 Independent 于 2010-8-9 20:39 编辑 , A4 c- p1 F, d
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Thanks, for commenting, Yes, it is a true case. - q! E$ E; k( a. b9 M7 C
Hope more readers may like it, and find it usefull!
ABS Energy Service Ontario. 业务短信:647 880 1319
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